21 May 2012 - Final Email

Well it's coming to an end. Hopefully, I learned what I needed to and hopefully I'll learn more.

It gets harder and harder as it gets closer :) People are telling me it's my last P-Day, soon it will be my last Tuesday, etc.That doesn't make me feel any better. People tell me that I have done a great work, etc., but I haven't convinced myself yet :) However, I am extremely grateful that I served a mission. It is one of the few things that I have done well and worked until the bitter end. I consider it a badge of honor. It wasn't easy and I wasn't perfect and I couldn't have done it alone. It is an overwhelming feeling to know that you have served the Lord. I hope to feel the spiritual confirmation of the Lord accepting my work. It isn't necessary, but it's nice.

I know that this church is true. I have lived the Lord's Gospel in a way that I have never done before. I clearly see its power to change and alter the life of man forever. I know that the Gospel changes people, it makes them want to do what is right. I know that the Book of Mormon is a true book. It was set aside for our days. The nephites and lamanites didn't have it, but we do. The Lord saved it because we need it. I have a very personal, profound testimony of the Lord's love for me and the undeniable power of repentance. I know that He forgives and I know that He can forgive. He died for us and rose again. He is the Christ. He is my Savior and my Friend. 

21 May 2012 - From Bottom to Top

Here's the stake missionary plaque wall two years ago with Michael's plaque first in line at the top and Jeffrey's at the tail. Now Jeffrey's in #1 in line and only a week to go.

14 May 2012 - Bom Jardin Area (Dad)

People sometimes look down at returned missionaries if they don't come home running back to school/work/marriage and 'wasting' time doing anything else. I spent a lot of time walking around so I'll need to rest a bit ;)

I can see that my desires have changed and I have different priorities in my life. The gospel is much more important to me now. I made a few goals for returning home. I don't like making goals, I'm not good at it but I have tried here on the mission. It should help me...I guess.

I was able to visit an old area today and my love for these people overflowed. I didn't realize how much I missed them. It will be hard to go. I felt a deep love for them, not just 'hey you are a cool guy' feeling. A feeling that wanted me to do anything I could to help them. There is one family in particular that tickles the tender cords of my heart. I only stayed for 5 weeks in that area but they have profoundly 'marked' me. I love them. I love them all. I'm glad I served a mission and I worked hard. I plan to keep working too. These people deserve it and so much more. It is good to look back and feel good about your work. Sometimes it is hard to notice because so many people are doing it around you. You forget about the billions who don't. It seems like you are just one more and so many more people are doing it better than you. These new kids are 2342 times better than I was when I got here. They are good and prepared. It is the Lord's work and it will only keep getting better and better.

7 May 2012 - Bom Jardin Area (Dad)

For me it isn't scary leaving the mission. I know that I'm only supposed to be here for 2 years but it's scary what comes afterwards. Life hasn't even started yet, once I get back hope things are going to have eternal consequences. Everything before the mission was just preparing to go on a mission. No I actually have to put into practice that stuff I learned :)

People tell us a lot that we need to not go back into our old lives after the mission. Either I'm going to go crazy and not enjoy/do anything I did before the mission or I will be normal. I'm too hard on myself so I will probably go crazy :)

I don't know what life has for me. I never liked that fact. It is just much easier staying in the same place doing the same thing. Staying at home or just staying on the mission. You are use to it. I was telling my companion that you will always be a newbie in life. When you get on the mission people are like "Oh man the mission, you don't even know...someday". When you are finishing the mission; "Oh man going home, you don't even know...someday" When you get home "Oh man working and getting married, you don't even know...someday" and it just keeps going. I don't like being a newbie that doesn't know how to do stuff.

However, the mission is great. It is the greatest thing in the world. It has changed me soo much. Only the Lord really knows how much I have changed. I bore my last  Fast and testimony meeting testimony here in Brazil this past Sunday. I made it a goal awhile back to always share my testimony on fast sunday. This last sunday was by far the hardest. My heart was racing etc before I even went up. It wasn't nerves, I don't know what it was. It was hard though. This is all hard, but so worth it.

30 Apr 2012 - Bom Jardin Area (Mom)

I was able to visit a family that I had baptized today. It was nice to see them with callings and loving the church. It gives me a sneak peak on how it will be like in 10 years when I see their kids marrying in the temple etc. It makes me happy. I didn't baptize millions of people but I love all of the people that the Lord helped me to baptize. They are special and they have taught me a lot of things. I have a great respect for converts. They grow so much in 2 weeks. It takes other people 18 years to find out that the Church they were born in is really true. These converts figured that out in 2 weeks and were baptized and go to church for the next 40 years.

4 more weeks. Times seems to be going slow. It seems like eternity until I go back home. That is perfect for me because it doesn't bother me. I don't think about home and stuff like that. Probably with a week left things will get more emotional, more real. I can't believe it is over already. I know that the Lord only needs me here for 2 years so I can't go too crazy about leaving.

30 Apr 2012 - Bom Jardin Area (Dad)

I started Elder Bednar's challenge to read the Book of Mormon for 6 months with a special focus on the Atonement since I just finish reading it. Now that I know the importance of understanding the Atonement and knowing more about it, this reading should be all the more special. It is a hard subject that most people just ignore. They know it exists and that Jesus died for us and because of that we can live with him. Apparently, there is much more to it.

The time is running out. I don't know what to expect. I just keeping working blindly like I don't know I only have 4 weeks left. At this point it seems like a lot of time. Sadly, someday I will have to face the facts and I won't be able to ignore it. The mission has been good to me and it has changed my life. Only the Lord truly knows how much it has changed me life. It is by far the best thing to do as a young man age 19-26. Nothing will replace it and though it isn't mandatory, it will accelerate our spiritual growth. It will be sad not to hold the honor as a chosen representative of Jesus Christ. I ask you as my father, my Dad, Daddy, old man.... how do I leave it all behind? How do I leave these people? It is easy enough to leave the country but it will be hard to not think about it when I get home. Obviously I can think about it but I have to move on. What did you do? How do you not lose the language? I love it here. I was downtown the other day and I was just looking at the Cearanse people thinking: I may never see these people again. I was looking at them as children of God and not random people. I loved them and wanted to help them. It was easy for me to love this people. The Lord has blessed me so much through these people. I don't know why He sent me here, I haven't met anyone that was only able to be baptized by my ways etc. I only have faith in Him. I firmly believe that I am supposed to be here and that fact was established before this life. I have faith that I was supposed to serve here from 2010-2012. I love this work and I hope to bring many habits etc back home with me.

23 Apr 2012 - Bom Jardin Area (Dad)

Last transfer news. Same companion, same area. We'll see how things go. We have had an alarming increase of spiders in the house due to the rain. It just keeps you on your toes though. It's good for you. Our bug zapper that looks like a tennis racket exploded when we plugged it in so we will be seeing an increase of disease-laden mosquitos. We found some mushrooms growing in the kitchen area. All in all the next 5 weeks have a bright future in store. If I don't catch some disease then I'm truly immune to everything.

16 Apr 2012 - Bom Jardin Area (Dad)

I read that one talk that you were talking about. The one with the girl who didn't think that she was good enough and the guy drew the 2 lines. Brad Wilcox or someone like that gave the talk. You mentioned an interesting part but left out the rest of the mind blowing talk. So luckily I was able to read it's full content. I can't really remember exactly what it said, I just remember that it talks about how our purpose isn't to repay Jesus for all the things He did since He already paid the price. We are here to show Him how much we love Him and to prove  that we are willing to follow Him. Something like that.

Things here are good. I feel I am running out of patience a lot faster these days. Maybe it's because I'm nearing the end and Satan is trying to trip me up or maybe people are being more annoying :) I can notice a difference in these last days. Things are just harder. I'm feeling depressed about the language which never was a problem, about the ward members etc. I don't feel like they like me that much. Just a bunch of random stuff like that. I'm trying to do my best though, but not to repay Him but to show Him how much I love Him :)

9 Apr 2012 - Bom Jardin Area (Mom)

It's funny that my mom tells me to just let marriage happen but the apostles tell me that my number one goal after the mission should be celestial marriage hmmm ;)

As all other holidays here in Brazil, lots of people were drunk for easter. Although, it is a little different on Easter. For some reason wine is the drink of choice during these holiday times. They have a ton of Jesus plays about His death etc. The Church actually did one too. Well members of the church slapped the church logo on it, so I assume they had permission. We took some investigators to go watch it. It was ok, I wasn't too amazed. :) I'm just hard to please sometimes :)

[While I was sitting in the office two bunnies started playing in the front yard. Buttons came to watch at the open window. One of the bunnies hopped right by the window, up by the house, and the next thing you know Buttons is through the screen.] I don't know about this cat, it seems kind of retarded :) Are you sure it isn't a dog that looks like a cat? He could have caught you a delicious bunny and you could have eaten some bunny stew. Yum!!

I don't know where I will live. I don't have any desire to live outside of Texas because everywhere else is cold. It won't be all my decision anyways :) I didn't love Texas soo much until I left for school and came on the mission too. Everyone hates on Texas so you just naturally have to love it and defend the Holy Land.

The work rolls forth and things are going well. I'm trying to be the best I can and learn as much as I can before I get home and have to deal with life. It still hasn't hit me that much that I am leaving soon. Someday it probably will.

9 Apr 2012 - Bom Jardin Area (Dad)

[Uncle Carl is my closest tie to apostles as well, although I was part of stake conference with Elder Christofferson a year or two before he became an apostle. When they were announcing a new apostle a few years ago, his name is the first that came to my mind before they said it. It was kind of cool. Hey, now I can add that my son had a companion who used to ski with Elder Nelson's grandson!] We know that Neil L. Anderson is definitely a BYU fan from his comment a few conferences ago when BYU was doing well in basketball. I'm still waiting for the "Fort Worth area cool kids'' choir/sit with the Apostles if you can't sing well group. They didn't form this group while I was gone so I still have a chance. I remember that Elder Christofferson and Anderson were both in the Pres. of the Seventy in our area before they were called as Apostles. At least that is what I remember. Yeah me and Elder Nelson are pretty much best buds now. [Well, actually Grandma and Grandpa grew up with President Benson and also lived in the same ward back east and did things (if I remember right) with Elder and Sister Maxwell.] They did things? They probably went squirrel hunting with Grandpa.

[Your description of snowmobiling was quite eloquent. Of course a true Utahn/Idahoan would do it in camo while holding a loaded rifle and a Mountain Dew.] This is true about the loaded rifle with Mountain Dew. You never know when a wild caribou might stroll across the road and past the barrow pit (only Idahoans know what that is ....if that is how you spell it....that is how they say it at least) and into the snowmobile trail. You get some meat and a nice cold Mountain Dew in the process. I bet you Grandpa used to do that all the time.

[I watched a video today on BYUtv that followed two brothers over 5000 days.] Over 5000 days? That is like 13 years. Who would waste their time follow two kids for 13 years. They must have had an interesting life. That would have been cool if they followed me, Michael, and Sean for 13 years. We would have some classic footage. Some PG parts for violence and beat downs ;)

[...they interviewed the older of the two while he was on his mission in Chile.] Chile? That's a good place, they save miners from certain death so they must be receptive to the gospel. Well good ole Semana Santa has come and by here in Fortaleza. The rambling wine bibbers will have to wait another year to bother the missionaries. There were a few Catholic parades with some guy carrying a cross through the streets. If he really appreciated Jesus and His sacrifice, I doubt he would parade through the streets pretending to be like Him :) That reminds me of a talk by Jeffrey R. Holland....as I am typing there currently is a wine bibber screaming. He is half drunk lying on the ground outside of the Lan house....so back to the talk. He said that people shouldn't say that they are passing through their own little Gethsemane (that is how you spell it in english right). He said we have come nowhere close to be able to say that and it mocks Jesus' sacrifice when we try to lessen it to our human durability. Something like that...probably. However, Easter is good. The Church put on a play too and toured all of Fortaleza. It was cool and we were able to take some investigators to watch it. We also got to help a random guy that almost passed out due to low blood sugar. While helping, I met a guy from another area I passed through so it was a night full of drama, action, and blasts from the past.

2 Apr 2012 - Bom Jardin Area (Mom)

[I liked Holland's Saturday morning talk, and also Elder Nelson's talk Sunday afternoon. I can't remember who said it, but there were a few sentences spoken about boys remaining bachelors, a little more strongly this time. Interesting.] Holland had a good talk, he has always been my favorite :) I remember that part too, guess I have to find me a super hot wife and get married. ;) Technology is good because we got to watch it on the computer too, in english in a nice air conditioned room in a wheel chair. Wheel chairs are nice and comfortable when watching conference. 

[I joined the choir for Easter.] I have been practicing my musical talent as well. My companion bought a keyboard so I have been messing around with it. I learned how to play a few random things. I don't really have any desire to learn the piano so... but it is fun to play it and learn some random stuff.  I learned the Battle Hymn of the Republic too :)

Conference talked a lot about families and teaching our children, well that is what I got out of it. When I was a kid I always wondered how people knew how to raise kids. Now I know we just have to follow the prophets :) This conference I fasted and had a few questions in my heart as I listened to the talks and not surprisingly I got answers. :) The Spirit is a wonderful thing, I also saw Elder David Archuleta singing in the MTC choir. I'm sure Lauren will be excited to know that he is serving a mission :)

[We are having the kitchen redone.] That is cool that things are changing at home and stuff like that. It would be nice for me to get home to a new spiffy kitchen :) It looks like you guys are going to hunker down in the house with all this renovation. I'm jealous, I wish I could live in Fort Worth for the rest of my days, but I couldn't live that close to my parents ;)

2 Apr 2012 - Bom Jardin Area (Dad)

I wasn't able to see the priesthood session. They tape it and show it Sunday morning at 8 o´clock but we were looking for investigators to go to the conference sessions. We walked a lot and it rained a ton then the blazing sun came out to dry us off and soak us with sweat once again. For all of that hard work a total of 0 people came too :) Good ole missionary work. I'm one in 55,000 though so I'm not alone.

[Did you notice Ryan in the priesthood session choir?] I didn't see Ryan but I saw David Archuleta in the Saturday sessions. I think he is in the last song of the afternoon session. They show him at the very end of the song. That is weird that he is serving a mission :) What group sang in the priesthood session? The Utah kids get all of the luck. The only time that I went to watch conference and see the prophets, they made us go into a secret overflow area in the conference center....The Utah kids get to see the Apostles all the time ;) My old companion use to ski with Russell M Nelson's grandson and talk to him on the slopes. My closest tie to the Apostles is Uncle Carl ;)

[Lauren's been enjoying the life of a carefree college student again (OK, college life is carefree only in certain respects, but in a lot more ways than post college life is). She went wakeboarding in Arizona with her roommate this week.] That would be nice to be able to touch the water again :) I don't know if my first choice would be slamming face-first into the water at 30 mph but it would be fun I suppose. I prefer tubing instead of strapping wood and other blunt, heavy objects to your feet as you speed across the water. I did go snowmobiling a few times which isn't the best thing to do when you are from Texas. You are able to go faster on ice or snow with the same inability to stop the gasoline-filled vehicle you are sitting on top of. Only Utah and Idaho folk would find joy in that :)

My college days were pretty carefree..... I always did my homework before I went to Vegas!

Conference was good. As a missionary I have learned to love it. I just need to learn how to do everything that they tell me to do. I know for sure that the prophets are men of God. I have prayed and the Lord has revealed it unto me! We must follow them and they tell us all that we need. The Spirit will guide us to the tidbits of their talks that pertain to us. They talked a lot about "raising our children" but I don't have any kids yet! Does that mean I can sleep until they talk about how to find smoking hot babes after the mission? No! The spirit guides us to what we need and we are able to discern the gems that the Lord wants us to know in ALL of the talks.

26 Mar 2012 - Bom Jardin Area (Mom)

The weather is nice here too. It rains in the morning usually. I get chilly :) I have turned into a wimp when it comes to the cold. Well I always have been. Anything below 80 is cold for me. I going to have to live in TEXAS forever!!! Yee haw Texas. I love it there :)

If you want terra cota roofing I have done a bit of that while I've been here :)

Here they usually have fast and testimony meeting a week after conference which makes no sense to me but what can I do? :) I have made it a goal to share my testimony every single fast and testimony meeting while I have been on the mission. So far I have missed one or two because a lot of people went up and stuff. It is good to share your testimony, and it's fun to do it in another language :) I have been thinking about my talk when I get back. I'm just going to cry the whole time :) Sigh.... I have so much I want to learn, Portuguese, etc., but time is running out and it is back to normal life. :)

26 Mar 2012 - Bom Jardin Area (Dad)

I didn't even look at the details in the flight plans. I didn't know that I had a 6 hour layover. It will be a good time to preach in the airport or something ;) Maybe they will have a taco bell or something cool like that in the airport. Those are all hopeless dreams though because the São Paulo airport isn't that big. They actually have an international airport here in Fortaleza but I guess it is cheaper to get a connecting flight to São Paulo then Dallas. Who knows, the church lady bought the tickets. She isn't the one that will have to wait for 6 hours. I couldn't find a sweet machete so it looks like the mission tradition is done for. I went on a shopping spree today, kind of. I think I got everything. There isn't that much stuff here.

[... God does not judge us by our talents or achievements. He doesn't compare us to anyone else. In fact, it makes absolutely no difference how we compare to anyone. Nobody can "earn" their way to exaltation. Only the Lord can bring us to exaltation, only through the infinite atonement can we be made perfect in Christ.] Satan wants us to think we aren't good enough to gain salvation. No matter what we do, it will never be enough. Curse you Satan. I see that a lot here in the world. People just don't care. They just want to have fun and die. They think whatever church will save them or memorizing prayers will be enough for salvation. These poor souls. The more you understand the gospel and the eternal punishment for those that deny Christ, the more you want to help the people. You just look around at the people. You feel a godly sorrow for the people that you teach and call you crazy because we have another 'Bible'. Mormon (or is it Moroni?) and Nephi will be at the judgement bar testifying about the truthfulness of the gospel and it will be a sad day. We had a girl this week that told us she felt bad for being baptized and she wanted to take that decision back. She was being childish and joking and lying and just saying dumb stuff. She is like 17 years old. She told us to rip up her baptismal record. It was just a sad message and I just walked away thinking "Forgive her for she knows not what she does." The answer and help is there, it is on this earth again. People just don't look for it. We hide it from them sometimes as members.

19 Mar 2012 - Bom Jardin Area (Mom)

[Mom wrote some quotes she found about missionary work, one of which was this: "Was looking for some inspiring missionary tale and found this quote: Lady missionaries seem to be more tolerant and understanding than the elders. A lady missionary also seems to have far less of a challenge in getting motivated and putting in hours that are dedicated to the Lord."] Those are lies about sister missionaries :)

[Quentin L. Cook on becoming effective missionaries: "First, be a missionary all your life. Second, overcome feelings of hesitancy or inadequacy. Third, do not be discouraged because missionary work is hard. Elder Jeffrey Holland of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, in speaking about how hard missionary work is and has been, said: 'I am convinced that missionary work is not easy because salvation is not a cheap experience. Salvation never was easy.' Fourth, be a good example and take every opportunity to share the gospel."] I have heard the 3rd quote before. It is part of the greatest talks of all time! I haven't been able to find it on audio or anything but oh well.

Time seems to be crawling by which is a good thing I guess. I told the Lord that these last 11 weeks would be my best and I would keep going and He could let Satan do his thing. It seems like he has done just that. This was a hard week. My brain got wasted a few days and my body was killing me in all sorts of ways for the 1st few days. I had no desire at all for the 1st part of the week. My companion was getting on my nerves too :) I had no confidence in my Portuguese at all. Basically I felt like I had 2 months on the mission again. I kept going though and things got better. It is a lot better now. I just want to finish strong and be an example to the newer people that are around me. Most people just assume that a missionary is dead when he has 3 months left. So I just have to prove them wrong. Things are not easier and I guess I will get a lot more blessings because of that. I'm glad that I'm serving. I'm often surprised that I was able to do it since I have never done anything in my life. I always gave up. I have so much to learn still.

19 Mar 2012 - Bom Jardin Area (Dad)

I forwarded my itinerary to you just so you can plan the party details ;)

[Lauren is taking an ice hockey class.] That is intense playing hockey on ice. I guess it is the same as rollerblades. Skates just have a sharp razor on the bottom to discourage falling and kicking.

Yeah Bom Jardim, the house is nice so that is good. It happens to be one of the most dangerous places here in Fortaleza and I've heard a lot about it. So that's a good last area to serve in right? ;) It won't be anything new, I'm fond of the ghettos. Nothing cool to report on this week so we'll just keep our fingers crossed. I doubt the other missionaries will be saying that but we'll see. I'm still chugging along like a freight train. I had a hard week but things got better. I don't know if my shirts will make it until the end. They are like paper. I ripped my sheets in half because they were so old and fragile. It turned over and my knee got caught in the fabric and just ripped it. Oops. Things are good and the Lord will bless me until the bitter end. I will need more help after the mission though :) This area we are able to find a lot of people and teach a lot of people too. It is good to have something to do all day. It hasn't rained hardly at all this year, so it is nice and toasty still. I don't know if I will be losing any weight here though since our house is full of people that love to cook.

12 Mar 2012 - Bom Jardin Area (Mom)

Well transfers. It looks like I will end my mission in Bom Jardim. With just 11 weeks left, things are looking good. I'm going to punch Satan extra hard in the face for these last 11 weeks. My new companion is Elder Sampaio, one more Brazilian. It'll be good to perfect my portuguese. He is the brother of an Elder that I lived with a way long time ago. So that is cool. We live with 2 other missionaries. I don't really know them and they are newbies :) I feel like an old man that nobody cares about these days. I don't know any of these new missionaries.

Yay they don't have daylight savings here so I never have to lose an hour of sleep! I would like the extra hour of sleep though. My body is TIRED. 2 years of a mission does a lot to your body. I have been trying to work out but I'm lazy. I plan on starting up at home.....maybe :) I haven't gotten fat and in fact I haven't gained any weight. I'll probably have cancer and diabetes and rotten teeth when I get back home though.

I'm tired and sometimes I don't have a huge desire to leave the house. I know I have to and the Lord will bless me. I'm just trying to forget myself and turn my life over to God. I just do what I'm supposed to do and pray and keep the commandments and follow the Spirit. To me that is giving up your life over to the Lord. Stop worrying, do what we know is right, and live so that the Lord can speak with us at any time.

I love it here. I can't wait to get back home. :)

12 Mar 2012 - Bom Jardin Area (Dad)

[Yum, chicken liver. I actually like liver.] Ewww liver. I have had chicken liver and cow liver. They tricked me with the cow liver though. They made it look just like steak and called it liver in Portuguese instead of english ;) This was back in the day so I didn't know. I just thought it was nasty horse meat or something.

[I can't remember if I told you that your sister is taking a hockey class this semester.] Hockey class? I use to play street hockey in front of our house. Does she play on ice? I was thinking about walking on the BYU football team....haha just kidding. Maybe I could do it and they would make a movie called Jeffrey after I play for one down like Rudy. :) Maybe I'll just join a intramural football team if I can find any friends. I have been doing my pushups and stuff. Trying at least. I won't come back too morbidly obese. Just the beginning stages :) Stock the fridge with donuts and pork rinds.

I'm trying to do all the good that I can. Missionary work changes lives. It changes me and it changes my family and it changes the people that I teach. I'm glad that I went and I can see the Lord preparing me and I see His hand in the timing that I left too. Not many young men, maybe none, truly understand the importance of a mission until they go on it. I feel proud to be counted among the 54ish thousands that are out. Soon I will be just another statistic :) Sometimes I just stare at my name tag and wonder what it will be like when I have to take it off. I always imagine Elder Hawkes in the New England area and my pops Elder Hawkes in Costa Rica, and surrounding "neigborhoods". That skinny white Elder Hawkes in Thailand. I'm proud that they are my family and that I carry the same 2 names on my nametag. They were much better than I am but I can only imagine the great amount of success that you had in the Costa Rica San Jose mission. You don't talk about it much because you are humble and I know it meant the world to you. I got that without you having to tell me millions of mission stories. :) I'm thankful for the Lord Jesus Christ and His holy name. He makes my mission worth everything. It would be useless to teach of Him if He never died and paid for our sins.

5 Mar 2012 - Palmeiras Area (Mom)

I don't think about going home much. It is still far away. Sometimes I get frustrated here in the area since it is hard to do anything. We end up walking around a lot. That is the mission for you though. I'm just hoping and trying to do what God wants me to do. I don't have a magical Liahona that tells me what I need to do at all times, so it is more difficult. When I first got on the mission as a 19 year old it wasn't that scary. You just kind of go along with it. There is a lot of stuff that goes over your head. You just want to be that awesome missionary though.

Sometimes I get excited to go home and put into practice all the stuff to learn. To have a cute little kid on my knee. Then, sometimes I don't :) I don't have to worry much about the whole marriage thing because I never had girls all over me. I hope I grow a lot more. I'm trying to do everything right. They are changing a lot of stuff here which is harder for the oldies, but I'm trying to gimp along. I'm happy though and still have tons of time.

I'll be calling home two weeks before I get home :) The official date is May 29th since Elder Howland called and said he bought the tickets.

5 Mar 2012 - Palmeiras Area (Dad)

I was going to go downtown today, but it didn't work out. I'll just have to go another time. I need to pick up a sweet machete to keep the family knife buying tradition alive. I just don't know where I am going to find that kind of stuff.

[I have a goal to read the Book of Mormon in Spanish this year.] I think I will study my scriptures in Portuguese after the mission. I might get lazy though and switch to english :) I have a lot to learn in these next 3 months about Portuguese. I love learning the language but I am never good enough at it!

I was talking to some missionary that has relatives in Preston, the Peterburgs or something like that. I told him to ask his relatives about the Swainstons and the few Hawkes that live there. Uncle Carl looks as healthy as....something really healthy. Hopefully they are all doing well.

[A prescription I was taking has caused me to lose my sense of taste.] I'll try to enjoy my sense of taste more fully by eating lots of beans and stuff. Sometimes it would be good if I could lose it just for a bit, like when I have to eat chicken liver...

Things here are dandy. Not easy, just dandy. The Lord knows what He is doing and I'm trying not to kick against the pricks. I'm just letting him 'beat' me down the right paths like the stubborn mule that I am. I'm grateful to be here and I'm grateful that the Lord needs me. I don't know if I've done all that I was supposed to do. I'm happy though, and I feel like I have done my small part. I haven't been perfect but I've changed when I've realized I was wrong and did the best with my minimal knowledge. I just need to finish. The Lord is our Savior and He loves us. He loves me and I know because I have knelt down and I have prayed in anguish. I have felt His loving embrace surround me. I know He lives.